SHIT.  “I love Erin, I love Erin”.

Sometimes I literally need to pause and step back from a toddler predicament.   Then I repeat the above phrase a few, if not a hundred times, before reacting to the current quandary.  And this one involves SHIT.

Ever have a nice, relaxing, lazy weekend morning? Lucky you. I am very fortunate that Erin consistently sleeps until 8:30 if not 9:00am, but once she’s up all bets are off. I thought today was going to be a nice little saturday, boy was I wrong.

Before I tell you about what happened this morning, I want to give you an idea of what this past week was like.  I don’t get a “Holiday” from work for Columbus Day or Yom Kippur, so I worked all week. The fun started Sunday night/morning at about 1am.  Normally you’d think, ok she was up all night with Erin.  WRONG, very, very, very wrong. This time it was Harvey.  By Wednesday (after 3 days of boiled chicken and white rice) when I was still up between the hours of 1-5am with Harvey just squatting for hours on the lawn, I finally decided a vet visit was warranted. Harvey was diagnosed and treated for Colitis.  By Thursday evening he was finally back to “normal”. Heading into the weekend I was hoping to put this SHIT week behind me.

Back to Saturday morning. AKA weekly cleaning time. I’m usually happy to do some cleaning because living with a toddler, english bulldog and an injured husband the house can sometimes resemble an episode of Hoarders. I asked my husband to take Erin and Harvey upstairs so I could do a little uninterrupted cleaning, what could possibly go wrong?

After 45 sweaty minutes of removing sticky toddler crumbs and dog hair that somehow embedded themselves into my hardwood floors, I hear exasperated words coming from my husband, i.e. “What the heck did you do”, “Erin why would you do that” and queue the dramatic toddler cries.

Sidenote: Erin has become very independent and quite often asks for privacy when going to the bathroom. Once she is done though she is very happy to show (anyone who will look) her poopie and how big it is. Today was no different, Erin had called for me to come look, but I told her I was still cleaning and would be up soon. She then called to Daddy to come look as well. These days he is not moving too fast because of a recent back surgery, unfortunately this caught up to us today.

Erin had decided after she was done doing her business she would use Daddy’s walking cane to poke at her poopie in the toilet. Why she had the walking cane in the bathroom with her is beyond me.  How she even thought to put it in the toilet to play with poopie is just some next level shit. In just the two minutes that it took Daddy to get into the bathroom she had managed to get poop and poop water all over the floor. I really don’t think I need to go into anymore detail, your imagination is probably covering it all right now. Lets just say it’s a good thing I have plenty of disinfectant and rubber gloves in the house.

Maybe tomorrow will be a nice, relaxing, lazy morning, pray for me!

As for now I’m just going to keep these two locked up all day.